Monday, January 16, 2006

Changing the way one thinks

Well my meditation the last couple of days hasn't been going to well..... I get into for a bit then it just disappears on me. I think it's because my eyes have been bothering me. This is not new they've been bothering me for over a year now. I've been to an optometrist and she said there is nothing wrong with them at all. Perhaps, I'll have to look into some healing for them.

On another note I have been seeing situations is a new light lately. I heard this saying "change the way you think and you'll have different options". I've been repeating this phrase daily and it seems to be working for me. For example: my ex-partner is going to move back in with me. At first I thought this was too soon - I'd rather spend time with her before the big move - but, due to circumstances she's moving back in a couple of months. I've decided to leave it up to the angels. I have been feeling good about our decision - so think it's best just to trust what will be will be.

I still have to work on my patience though! Has been something I have been trying to deal with this past week - but, lots of work still to be done there.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Coincidences or Synchronicity

I've decided to start paying attention to these. Today I was walking at lunch time and started to think about the Jolie Pitt baby that is on the way. I was thinking what a beautiful creature that will be - seeing as how it has two of the most attractive parents. I also wondered if it was possible that two attractive people can have a non-attractive child. Just random thoughts. I came back to the office and fired up cnn.com and saw this article.

But, i'm sure most people were thinking that. I was just reflecting on the timing of my thoughts and reading this.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Meditation - January 9th

I did a guided meditation this evening. It was called "Connecting with your Spirit Guide". It's 20 minutes in length.

As much as I like guided meditations there are a few problems with it. In this case I wasn't ready to finish up with the CD was telling me it was time to come back. I didn't want to break it by turning it off tho - i should have.

Anyhow, I digress. At one point in the meditation we were to visualize someone coming down a path towards us. As this person got closer we were to look closely at them because it was one of our guides. I spotted a man wearing a white robe... short brown hair, chiseled features, brown eyes. He came and sat beside me. I did ask him a few questions, such as why he doesn't come when I call him. He answered that he does - but, he looked away when he said this. I found it hard to focus in on his face and moved to the other side of the bench for a better look. I asked him if he was here to help me. He said yes. I asked his name and it was Dave. I asked if he was going to help me see spirit. I received yes. This is when the CD was telling me to come back into the present -yet, I was wanting to still talk to him. Anyhow, I came out.

15 minutes later I was talking to a friend of mine that just happens to be a psychic. The first thing she said was you're looking rested and peaceful. We were talking on-line (no webcam). I told her i just finished meditating. She asked if i was going to read this evening. Now, I've never 'read' before (besides books of course) - but, it was in line with what I was asking my spirit guide. She also saw a dragonfly by me. Not sure what this means yet - but, will keep my eyes open.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Expectations

I had a dream last night that led me to believe I have an issue to work on.

In the dream I was in a restaurant/bar type setting. Was a work thing it seemed because there were many co-workers there. An old boyfriend that I used to work with was there as well. In the dream i knew this place - but, in reality I don't. There were two separate rooms, the bar area and the restaurant. When it came time to eat I took my plate into the restaurant area (our table it was - a table for six)... and sat alone as I ate. While I was eating I was getting annoyed that my "boyfriend" (the old boyfriend was now my current boyfriend), wasn't there dining with me. He was neglecting me - out at the bar having fun. So I continued to eat and steamed. Finally as I was almost finished he brought his plate in and sat down at the table with me. Soon as he sat I said "well, i'm done", and got up and left the room. I left and went to the restroom. The stalls in the restroom were on an incline so it was hard to get to them. And I was steaming again, why the hell do they make these toilets so gawd damn hard to get to - sheesh!

Upon awakening I realized there were a few other aspects to this dream... even other dreams. But, this one or portion was the one that stuck with me after I showered. So as I was getting ready for work I was questioning myself on what it meant. Stubbornness came to mind. I was upset over the boyfriend not joining me for dinner when I had my plate. Helloooooo, i'm gay - who cares? I wouldn't in real life care. But, I do feel slighted very easily and sabotage myself.

The more I thought about it the more it made since. There have been many of times in my life where my expectations of what people should do don't meet up to my standards. So I pout, i leave, i snub - yes, i have hurt them and hurt myself.

One shouldn't place expectations on others.

I'm going to do my best to acknowledge and change my attitude.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Today was interesting

I was heading to a department store - and on the way there I started to visualize the salesperson that would attend to me while I was looking for something specific. My mind started to wander as to how we sometimes come across people that we instantly connect with. For me, it's generally in the smile and how it reaches their eyes. I just resonate with some people thru their smile. Anyhow, I get to department store and forgot all about salesperson .. i can't find what I want and leave. I'm walking back to office thinking what a bad hair day I'm having and must change it. All of a sudden out of the blue a man I've never seen before approaches me and asks me out for dinner. He says he's seen me around the area and if I'm interested he'll give me his card and we can meet up. I say 'no sorry'. On way back to office i'm wondering if for some reason he felt he knew me. Later on in the afternoon I accidently came across an article about 'approaching strangers'.

So three things that sort of tie together.
1) My mind wandering about meeting people for the first time
2) My self-confidence (regarding bad hair day)
3) Seeing the article about approaching strangers....

and low and behold a complete stranger approaching me and asking me out. By the way, it made me feel much better about my hair.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Power of the Collective Soul

I forgot to pull an Angel card as I headed out the door this morning. For some reason I always feel like that is a morning thing - so didn't pull one this evening when I got home. I did however meditate for about 5 minutes. I'm starting with a daily 5 minute meditation and will hopefully extend that over time. Anyhow, during my meditation I was focusing on having my spirit guide come forward and give me guidance. I was given "Power of the Collective Soul". Now, i'm pretty sure i've heard that tag before (could be a book or something else I've run across in my path). However, the message or feeling I got was that I should be trying to find a meditation group. This is something I have thought about before but have never gotten around to it.

Tomorrow I will begin my search for a local meditation group. It's a rotten time of year to be joining tho - I may wait till spring to actually join.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Oceana

Well, one has to do it. I asked the inevitable love life question. What direction it's going in... will I meet the woman of my dreams? Perhaps it wasn't specific enough - i have to work on that.

I card that came up was Oceana. Basically telling me to take action and to dive right in. It does say it will support me.

I guess I was looking for the the big sign post that says "YES - she is right around the corner". No such luck. Anyhow, this year is focusing on opening up and receiving - so I'll leave romance aside for now (unless something interesting happens).