I had a dream last night that led me to believe I have an issue to work on.
In the dream I was in a restaurant/bar type setting. Was a work thing it seemed because there were many co-workers there. An old boyfriend that I used to work with was there as well. In the dream i knew this place - but, in reality I don't. There were two separate rooms, the bar area and the restaurant. When it came time to eat I took my plate into the restaurant area (our table it was - a table for six)... and sat alone as I ate. While I was eating I was getting annoyed that my "boyfriend" (the old boyfriend was now my current boyfriend), wasn't there dining with me. He was neglecting me - out at the bar having fun. So I continued to eat and steamed. Finally as I was almost finished he brought his plate in and sat down at the table with me. Soon as he sat I said "well, i'm done", and got up and left the room. I left and went to the restroom. The stalls in the restroom were on an incline so it was hard to get to them. And I was steaming again, why the hell do they make these toilets so gawd damn hard to get to - sheesh!
Upon awakening I realized there were a few other aspects to this dream... even other dreams. But, this one or portion was the one that stuck with me after I showered. So as I was getting ready for work I was questioning myself on what it meant. Stubbornness came to mind. I was upset over the boyfriend not joining me for dinner when I had my plate. Helloooooo, i'm gay - who cares? I wouldn't in real life care. But, I do feel slighted very easily and sabotage myself.
The more I thought about it the more it made since. There have been many of times in my life where my expectations of what people should do don't meet up to my standards. So I pout, i leave, i snub - yes, i have hurt them and hurt myself.
One shouldn't place expectations on others.
I'm going to do my best to acknowledge and change my attitude.